(d), (d), (d)
I tell my ninety-two-year-old mother I’m moving to a small village in the Andalusian mountains. Although she has Skype and an iPad, I know I will most likely never see her in person again. Does she… (a) clap her hands and suggest we open the Tesco prosecco she’s been storing since I was born. (b) […]
Way to Go
When notified of their impending demise, the couple deleted the forms. Who didn’t in those early, incredulous days? Undaunted, The Easement sent symptoms: fever, chills, piercing pains. Then options. Shivering, costly meds nearly gone, the couple scrolled: Cliff, Lava, Ocean, Amber. “Amber!” Wife croaked. “That story in the news. Two prehistoric flies, caught in ‘the […]
Time Travel and Woolly Mammoths
I invented a time machine. It was an accident. I was trying to repair my phone after I dropped it down the stairs. The next thing I know I traveled back in time. It was freezing and ice formed on my nose and mouth. A woolly mammoth followed me back. I wasn’t trying to find a woolly mammoth […]
Puzzling
It wasn’t that Luna was exceptionally large or exceptionally small or oddly-shaped in any way, but while others snapped together easily, slowly revealing the life for which they had been created, no matter where she found herself, she simply did not fit. Ballet classes meant to teach her grace found her toppling to the floor […]
Burning Malta
You’re shivering in the study, wearing your summer dressing gown. You refuse to accept it’s a cold July, and the coffee has gone cold. You drink it anyway. Working from home does not suit you, according to your wife. You are too easily distracted by your Ian Rankin novels, by your old books from university […]
Cherry Pits and Bee Faces
My sister keeps photoshopping her cat’s face onto bees. Cynthia is lost the way I want to be found. I’m supposed to be her caretaker, court appointed, paperwork signed and notarized, but Cynthia doesn’t really need me. After her accident with the bathtub and my flat iron, her adult social worker said she needed supervision, […]
Smartypants
The first day of class Mr. Ringer walked up to the board and wrote: 15x + 6 = 36. “Solve,” he said. Everyone’s hand shot up. We’d learned this the year before and were eager to demonstrate our knowledge. “Lawson.” “X equals Bite Me.” “Correct.” Mr. Ringer wrote another: 3x + 3 = 27. “Yes, […]
Dinner for One at the Limping Frog
At the candle-lit table in the corner of the Limping Frog, Michael is having a lone feast. This has long been his favourite meal, even before the time that the critic somewhat pretentiously said of it that ‘the gentle herbal flavour perfectly complements the delicately spiced meat.’ The crisp asparagus Michael uses is still fresh […]